Another Modern Dilemma

Walking into a clothing store and saying "I'd like to buy a pair of jeans" is like walking into Starbucks and saying "I'd like a cup of coffee."

Mysteries of Life

Why is it that when I want to stop some page loading with Micro-Slop Internet Explorer, if I push the "stop" button, the page invariably loads a fraction of a second later?

Same thing with checking voice mail on my phone. When I turn on the phone, there is no message that says there is voice mail, but if I dial voice mail, suddenly all these pop-up windows making bonging noises that I have to cancel appear.

Stupid Mother's Day Ads

Stupid Ad #1

This was an actual ad in the recent Zeller's flyer.

WHOA! Harsh MILF alert!!

http://www3.telus.net/~mjq/misc/momday1.jpg

Stupid Ad #2.

Received in e-mail.

This is right up there with "I'm gonna get my Mom an Onkyo 9.2-Channel A/V Surround Home Network Receiver..."

http://www3.telus.net/~mjq/misc/momday2.jpg

Iphone irony

In a recent Iphone commercial:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LamtBiGLzI8

there is a reference to a product made by Schlage, the lock company, where you can control the lights in your home (and other things) via your phone.

If you go to the Schlage WWW site (http://www.schlage.com), however, you will find that you cannot display some of the content on the site because, to see it, you need Java script, which Apple/Iphone does not support.

Out and about

I was in some local store yesterday. They run these pre-recorded ads through the speakers in the ceiling like "Be careful your kids don't fall out of the shopping carts." But sometimes they do "live" ads. An employee with a super swishy voice came on, saying "Did you know that April 22 is 'Earth Day'?" This crazy guy who was walking near me started talking back to the speaker saying, "NO, I DID NOT KNOW THIS," while he was singing Donovan's "Mellow Yellow," which was also playing through the speakers. I thought I was in an asylum.

Vancouver citizens get "the bird"

With their decision to allow people to raise chickens in Vancouver, it was to be expected that Vancouver City Council would reach new levels of idiotic bureaucracy. I'm glad to see they did not disappoint, once again making our city the laughing stock (no pun intended) of the entire nation.

First off, you are only allowed to have four chickens, and they must all be registered at City Hall. Does this mean the chickens will have little licenses around their necks, sort of like dog licenses?

Second, you are not allowed to kill the birds. So what happens if one of the birds dies? Will City Hall appoint a Quincy-like chicken coroner to investigate causes of suspicious death?

The establishment of a pound-like coop to take birds which are neglected by their owners is especially stupid. The common sense solution to dealing with these birds would be to give them to the Union Gospel Mission, where they can provide a meal for some homeless person. Or has City Council totally forgotten about the homeless (their other "pet project") in their sudden enthusiasm for chickens?

Subject for debate

To be considered great, a beer cannot be in a bottle with a twist-off cap.