I wanted to get a new laptop for my wife, since her old one was as slow as snails having sex in a bowl of molasses on top of a glacier, an expression I once used to described this BBS where I hung out in the 1990s that really pissed off one of the co-owners there.
There were laptop deals at Best Buy on Boxing Day, but I dragged my ass, and the computer I wanted was sold out almost immediately. But just before the sale ended (Dec. 31st), I tried again and there was ONE of these at the West Vancouver Best Buy, which is in the Park Royal Shopping Center, about 15 miles away from my place.
You are probably wondering, "Mike, why didn't you just have this shipped to the Best Buy on Marine Drive near your house [a mere 3 miles away] instead of driving to West Vancouver?" and I would answer "Because my attitude was: Don't ask any questions, they might screw up such a transfer or maybe the order will be cancelled or whatever."
Anyway, a couple of days later, I went to Park Royal South where this Best Buy was supposedly located. I went over the Lions Gate Bridge, and at the first left going south, which is Taylor Way, an extension of the street that goes to the highway up the hill, I turned.
There was a big BEST BUY written on one of the buildings in front of me, but no other information. I pulled into a parking lot for a Dollarama nearby to get my non-existent bearings, and then I mindlessly turned down some street which was like an alley between buildings, going west. This went on for a few blocks, then I saw a Home Depot, which interested me, because I wanted to get some stuff there anyway, and I could kill two birds with one stone.
After I got out of my car, I saw some guy, who was a bus driver, and I asked him if he knew where the Best Buy was. He didn't, but he pulled out his cell phone and looked in Google Maps, and said it was "at the east of the mall" (which is where I started my journey).
Anyway, I wanted to go in to Home Depot, which was not some huge warehouse, but this kind of "cute" brick building. But I was at the back of Home Depot where there was a Starbucks, so I walked about half way there, and then decided to move my car to the parking lot in front of the Home Depot. I backed up carefully, avoiding this McLaren sports car. In the Home Depot parking lot, I asked some other guy who had a wispy beard like the truckers in the protest a year ago if he knew where Best Buy was, and he said words to the effect: "It is over there by the movie theatres," pointing east.
After I got my stuff at Home Depot (where the cashier didn't know where Best Buy was either), I started east on this road which runs south of the mall. There was soon a ramp up to a parking lot, so I went up there. I kept driving and came to the furniture store called The Brick which didn't seem to be open. No luck, so I backtracked and went into a parking lot at the lower level which led to the Osaka Supermarket.
I went up some stairs and when inside the building asked this woman who was cleaning stuff if she knew where Best Buy was. She pointed and said "Around the corner." So I went that way. I eventually ended up at Best Buy, where some guy wanted to help me. I asked him where do I pick up this laptop and he pointed to the other side of the store, which looked like it was about half a mile away. I asked him if there was a parking lot outside the doors over there, and he said yes.
Because I wanted to drive to this parking lot, I went through a nearby Staples, which had an entrance on the outside of the building when I had come in earlier. As I went down stairs to my car, I totally misjudged the last step on the stairway and fell down on my hands and knees. There was no one around, and I picked myself up. This fall resulted in some very nasty bruises on my leg which appeared later. It didn't endear me to Park Royal at all.
I left this parking lot, breaking several rules as to where I shouldn't go and went back to the east of the mall via the south road where it still was not obvious where I should go to get to Best Buy. I drove into this other parking lot which was totally outside of the mall and around in circles, trying to figure out where Best Buy was, annoyed.
I then went back down the alley which took me to the area of Home Depot again. I pitifully asked a couple of people while driving in the alley if they knew where Best Buy was, and they said no. Then I started back eastwards again. I found a parking lot which I figured was below Best Buy, and there was sort of an alcove in this parking lot. At this point, I wanted to just phone the store and ask how the hell do I get to the far-away place I had seen earlier next to the pick-up area from the entrance to the store inside the mall.
Unfortunately, there are no direct phone numbers for any Best Buy stores in Vancouver if you look them up on Google. There is only some 1-800 number where you have to listen to numerous idiotic prompts ... then it said "your waiting time is 8 minutes." By this point, I was getting really fed up, so I went into the mall through some entrance which mentioned the movie theatres.
I wandered around for a while and eventually realized I was totally lost! There were NO MAPS with the usual "YOU ARE HERE" on them anywhere in Park Royal that I had seen. I went up some escalator which brought me beside Osaka Supermarket, but I couldn't remember if this was the same area I was in before. I couldn't figure out where my car was or the door with directions to the movie theatres, but I remembered beside this door was a lot of Sportchek logos, so I went into the Sportchek store and asked if there was an exit on the outside of the building, which there was. I went there and quickly found my car.
I went back to the south road and kept driving to the east of the mall and parked in the parking lot outside the Dollarama again which I figured MUST be below the Best Buy since their sign was up above. I went inside the Dollarama where some tall blonde Russian babe was stocking shelves and asked her where Best Buy was. She said in a Rocky-and-Bullwinkle's Natasha voice: "Up stairs." So I went through the door at the back of the store and up an escalator to the entrance of Best Buy where I had already been, where the guy pointed out the entrance a half a mile away.
I trudged across the store and went out the doors there and noticed there was not only a parking lot in front of me, but a STAIRWAY down to the Dollarama parking lot, duh! So I picked up the laptop and went back to my car down the stairs. Then I noticed this maintenance truck which I had seen earlier when I was in the Dollarama parking lot. There were two lanes, one for up and one for down, both connected with the Best Buy lot upstairs. When I was there before, this maintenance truck was parked in the "up" lane, as if to say "there is some maintenance going on, you can't come up here." Now the maintenance truck was in the "down" lane, where some guy (who I hadn't seen before) was fixing the sign above which says something like the maximum height allowed for cars going up the ramp.
What a huge hassle!!! Of course I got a survey regarding my "Best Buy shopping experience" later which I filled out with a totally hate-filled response.
But the problem isn't just Best Buy, it's the way Park Royal (which is north AND south of the main drag) is laid out. I told a friend of mine who lives in the area of the north part of the mall, "Park Royal is totally crazy. It looks like they made it up as they kept building things without any plan in advance." She replied, "I'm sure that’s the best assessment I’ve heard. It’s a disaster.”
