Wednesday, August 26, 2009

BC Cel Phone Ban

The British Columbia government is going to be introducing legislation regarding cel phone use in cars. Some people claim that using a cel phone in your car is worse than driving while drunk.

Before going further, I should say that I totally agree that texting while driving is dumb. It is worse than dumb – it is insane. Texting while driving is like having sex with an AIDS-infected person while driving backwards blindfolded at high speed.*

That said, how are you going to monitor people using cel phones in cars? If someone has the cel phone to their ear, that will be easy to spot, but there are hands-free devices and other inventions. Some people actually make use of this technology. For example, you can “dial” your phone by voice activation and you can get the phone to answer automatically after several rings, etc.

Unfortunately, most people are technologically not so aware (or just lazy), so everyone has to suffer because of the usual lowest-common-denominator approach to lawmaking. The result is yet more levels of bureaucracy and police enforcement that could be avoided if people just used common sense.

According to news reports, the B.C. government is going to be breaking the ban down into multiple levels, i.e., texting is totally forbidden, cell phone use while driving will be prohibited with an exception for experienced drivers using hands-free devices (Huh? What the hell does that mean?), new drivers will not be allowed to use them, etc., etc.

Personally, I think that large-breasted women should be banned from walking down the street, because they are also distracting. They should all be forced to wear burqas.

Likewise, no passengers should be allowed in cars (despite what people like David Suzuki might say) because you could have an argument with your wife or girl friend (for example), and also be seriously distracted, resulting in an accident.

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* This metaphor reminds me of when I described the slowness of my first Internet service provider as like "two snails having sex in a bowl of molasses on top of a glacier" in a public forum on that provider. This earned me everlasting enmity from the woman who co-owned the place with her husband.

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